Am I being unreasonable?

PetCash · May 19, 2016

One day nikiwa job mke wangu alinipigia simu akinitaarifu kuhusu tatizo fulani ambalo limemtokea kazini. Ni gumu na nilimpa moyo lakini the ugly conclusion ni kwamba kwa msaada anaouhitaji mtu wa karibu tunayemjua anayeweza kumsaidia niliwah kumkataza mawasiliano naye.
Kusema kweli mke wangu alikuwa na uhusiano na huyu jamaa toka utotoni (wamekua wote), they even became girlfriend/boyfriend kwa juujuu (not intimate ). Najua kuwa wamezoeana na wamesaidiana somehow in life.
Nilikataza mawasiliano because walikuwa na ukaribu uliojeorpadize even ukaribu wetu. Hata mke wa jamaa alilalamika! Sasa ndo hivyo natakiwa kutoa go ahead kuwa jamaa ashirikishwe.
Mi nikamwambia atulie ntamtafutia namna. Nimepambana na namna nyingine sijapata. I hate to go back on my word that i'll find help. Na nimemkataza kabisa kumweleza huyo mshkaji.
Sasa i feel like niko mwenyewe kwenye kuzuia uhusiano wao, I mean kama kweli anaona ni reasonable kuniuliza whether awasiliane na jamaa or not it means aliona namuonea kumkataza+ it was a long time ago! Hapo nimeshindwa kuelewa psychology hii ya wanawake.
Pia naona kumuacha amueleze jamaa asaidiwe ni kutokuwa na msimamo na maamui ya mwanzo ya kumkataza, am being unreasonable?

Roger Sterling · May 19, 2016

Yup! You promised to find a way, but you haven't. Now swallow your pride, tuck in your insecurity, and let her be helped.

If she's a cheat, she will cheat. With or without the dude.

Zamiluni Zamiluni · May 19, 2016

ndg. PetCash take a deep breath..
Mkuu ikiwa tatizo ni Cash, au loan !! itakula kwako..
ikiwa tatizo ni trasportation pia itakula kwako !!
Wewe mwaga hiyo problem humu.... hapa utapata solution!!!

kimberlite · May 19, 2016

Unreasonable No.. may b not a man enough to her! Try harder.. find alternatives!!

RedDevil · May 19, 2016

Nashauri uendelee kutafuta solutions. Onyesha uanaume wako kuwa hushindwi kitu and you never give up. You are the head and keep that status. Hapo hapo tafuta muda mzuri, ongea na mshikaji wako mnayeaminiana "najua huwezi kukosa" namna ya kusaidia.
Kwa upande mwingine, ukiruhusu asaidiwe na mshikaji wake huyo maana yake wewe hatakuamini (hakuamini) na utajiona huna msaada kwake. Hii itapelekea kupungua kwa mambo fulani fulani kati yako na mkeo. The worst case scenario, ongea na mke wa jamaa mweleze kuhusu kusudio la mkeo na kama inawezekana wakati anasaidiwa basi muwe wote wanne ikiwezekana chukueni hata trip to mikumi (one weekend is nothing) kaeni huko toka ijumaa (jioni) hadi jumapili (mchana) wakati huo mkeo ataweza kusaidiwa na nyie mkiwapo. LOL but interesting!!

Lusajo11 · May 19, 2016

Kwenye hali muliyonayo hivi sasa, unatakiwa kuongea na yeyote ilimradi hutakufuru. Pride haina nafasi hapo. The greater good ni wife kusecure nafasi yake, masuala ya mahusiano mtadeal nayo mambo yakitengamaa nyie ni watu wazima

Kitang'wa1 · May 19, 2016

Binafsi nahisi kama jamaa wa upande wa pili (huyo aliyekua naye toke utoto), keshaambiwa tatizo la kiofisi la mkeo, tena na mkeo mwenyewe, na wamekubaliana na mkeo akuambie wewe kwanza ili utoe ruhusa asaidiwe naye.

Naona picha pana hapo pia ya kuwa, inawezekana vile vile mkeo anawapima nyie wanaume wawili kwa viwango vyenu, na mwisho wa siku jibu analo yeye.

Inawezekana pia akawa mkweli kwako kwa kukueleza tatizo la kiofisi, ama anakuzuga tu na tayari msaada alishapata. Sijui kama unaona ama kuhisi bado ana kimuhe muhe cha tatizo la kiofisi (maana hujafunguka yote hapa).

Ni vema ukahangaika kulitatua mwenyewe, msaada utafute pengine, na siyo kujishusha. Usiambiwe sijui u-swallow pride yako, me nasema NO, pambana mwenyewe kwa mkeo, kwa njia zengine na siyo kurudi ulikokataa.

Ahsante!

Kitang'wa1 · May 19, 2016

Binafsi nahisi kama jamaa wa upande wa pili (huyo aliyekua naye tokea utoto), keshaambiwa tatizo la kiofisi la mkeo, tena na mkeo mwenyewe, na wamekubaliana na mkeo akuambie wewe kwanza ili utoe ruhusa asaidiwe naye.

Naona picha pana hapo pia ya kuwa, inawezekana vile vile mkeo anawapima nyie wanaume wawili kwa viwango vyenu, na mwisho wa siku jibu analo yeye.

Inawezekana pia akawa mkweli kwako kwa kukueleza tatizo la kiofisi, ama anakuzuga tu na tayari msaada alishapata. Sijui kama unaona ama kuhisi bado ana kimuhe muhe cha tatizo la kiofisi (maana hujafunguka yote hapa).

Ni vema ukahangaika kulitatua mwenyewe, msaada utafute pengine, na siyo kujishusha. Usiambiwe sijui u-swallow pride yako, me nasema NO, pambana mwenyewe kwa mkeo, kwa njia zengine na siyo kurudi ulikokataa.

Ahsante!

Kitang'wa1 · May 19, 2016

Pole mleta thread, nilijaribu ku-edit na kufuta, moja wapo hapo juu, ikakataa, na ndio maana zimejirudia.

Nia siyo kukujazia thread yako.

Ahsante!

kimberlite · May 19, 2016

Kitang'wa1 said:
Binafsi nahisi kama jamaa wa upande wa pili (huyo aliyekua naye tokea utoto), keshaambiwa tatizo la kiofisi la mkeo, tena na mkeo mwenyewe, na wamekubaliana na mkeo akuambie wewe kwanza ili utoe ruhusa asaidiwe naye.

Naona picha pana hapo pia ya kuwa, inawezekana vile vile mkeo anawapima nyie wanaume wawili kwa viwango vyenu, na mwisho wa siku jibu analo yeye.

Inawezekana pia akawa mkweli kwako kwa kukueleza tatizo la kiofisi, ama anakuzuga tu na tayari msaada alishapata. Sijui kama unaona ama kuhisi bado ana kimuhe muhe cha tatizo la kiofisi (maana hujafunguka yote hapa).

Ni vema ukahangaika kulitatua mwenyewe, msaada utafute pengine, na siyo kujishusha. Usiambiwe sijui u-swallow pride yako, me nasema NO, pambana mwenyewe kwa mkeo, kwa njia zengine na siyo kurudi ulikokataa.

Ahsante!

Well said..
Kila mwanaume anatakiwa awe a man enough kwa mwanamke wake.
Mleta mada try harder tafuta alternative, assume huyo jamaa wa upande wa pili kafa ghafla, mkeo hana any alternative but you!! Haya maswala ya ku lower you pride sikushauri.. As a woman ningekudharau kama you can lower your pride that easily

nsanzu · May 19, 2016

Stick on ur stand brother, no matter wat, ila shida ni kuwa, mwanamke kamwe hachungwi! Waweza dhania umepiga marufuku mawasiliano na mahusiano yao ndo yanazid kuchanua. The Real Woman always looks upon herself.

PetCash · May 20, 2016

kimberlite said:
Unreasonable No.. may b not a man enough to her! Try harder.. find alternatives!!

Kama issue is finding a discreet and trusted lawyer and that's not my profession i fail to see exactly how failing to find one makes me not a man enough...

kimberlite · May 20, 2016

PetCash said:
Kama issue is finding a discreet and trusted lawyer and that's not my profession i fail to see exactly how failing to find one makes me not a man enough...

Umezunguka bongo nzima ukakosa another good lawyer except for the man on the other side?may b you are not trying hard enough n that makes u not a man enough

PetCash · May 20, 2016

kimberlite said:
Umezunguka bongo nzima ukakosa another good lawyer except for the man on the other side?may b you are not trying hard enough n that makes u not a man enough

I am still looking are you one?
Shida si a good lawyer. Wife kaharibu kweli and first measure ni kukeep it down until we find someone we can trust. We still have time, i just need that guy out of the picture

kimberlite · May 20, 2016

PetCash said:
I am still looking are you one?
Shida si a good lawyer. Wife kaharibu kweli and first measure ni kukeep it down until we find someone we can trust. We still have time, i just need that guy out of the picture

U need him out of the picture then don't even assume he exists. Its easier that way.
This tym ukimruhusu jamaa, next time wife hata omba hata iyo ruhusa coz she knows you have no choice but agree
Try harder.. mi nitabaki kukwambia hivo. And uki succeed bila help ya the guy on the other side hata heshima ya wife itarudi maradufu

dhk1 · May 20, 2016

Kitang'wa1 said:
Binafsi nahisi kama jamaa wa upande wa pili (huyo aliyekua naye toke utoto), keshaambiwa tatizo la kiofisi la mkeo, tena na mkeo mwenyewe, na wamekubaliana na mkeo akuambie wewe kwanza ili utoe ruhusa asaidiwe naye.

Naona picha pana hapo pia ya kuwa, inawezekana vile vile mkeo anawapima nyie wanaume wawili kwa viwango vyenu, na mwisho wa siku jibu analo yeye.

Inawezekana pia akawa mkweli kwako kwa kukueleza tatizo la kiofisi, ama anakuzuga tu na tayari msaada alishapata. Sijui kama unaona ama kuhisi bado ana kimuhe muhe cha tatizo la kiofisi (maana hujafunguka yote hapa).

Ni vema ukahangaika kulitatua mwenyewe, msaada utafute pengine, na siyo kujishusha. Usiambiwe sijui u-swallow pride yako, me nasema NO, pambana mwenyewe kwa mkeo, kwa njia zengine na siyo kurudi ulikokataa.

Ahsante!

Umeongea point

muongozaji · May 20, 2016

Mkuu una uhakika jamaa hajaambiwa hiyo ishu bado?

PetCash · May 20, 2016

muongozaji said:
Mkuu una uhakika jamaa hajaambiwa hiyo ishu bado?

Haijawahi kutokea sababu mke wangu asiniambie ukweli (I have never felt she is not telling the truth-na hii ni kwasababu tulikuwa marafiki mda mrefu sana kabla hata sijamuoa) . Life changes people i know, but sina sababu ya kutokumuamini...

muongozaji · May 20, 2016

PetCash said:
Haijawahi kutokea sababu mke wangu asiniambie ukweli (I have never felt she is not telling the truth-na hii ni kwasababu tulikuwa marafiki mda mrefu sana kabla hata sijamuoa) . Life changes people i know, but sina sababu ya kutokumuamini...

That is wise of you. Basi vyema na haki mkuu. Utupe mrejesho wa jinsi mambo yatakavyoenda. Ukihitaji msaada wa tatizo la msingi pia usisite kuwaambia wadau. Ila uwe makini mkuu

jichopevu · May 20, 2016

Unahitaji lawyer toka mkoa gani mkuu...kama ni Dar nijulishe. Wapo trusted lawyers ninaowafahamu

Am I being unreasonable?

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